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readme Page 1 Early Birds: 13á Wîrms: free Carnegie MellonÁs leading source of annîying whining since 1895 - brought to you by the Activities Bîard readme http://www.andrew.cmu.edu/org/AB/readme/index.html issue #6,000,036 Nîv. 21 - Nov. 27, 2002 Parents Say, ÁWeÁre Turning Your Room Into a Walê-In ClosetÁ Hey wait. ThatÁs råally my mom.. This Thanksgiving, Alpha Phi Omegà's Magic Bus service, which transports CMU studånts home for academic breaks, will also make a spec tacular journåy up a guy's nose and out his anus. The bus will make stops in New York, Bostîn, the lungs, the heart, the brain, the colon and Wàshington DC. The program director, 4th grade teacher Ms. Frizzlå, commented, ÁI think it's great that the students wànt to learn more about the exciting uni verse that eõists inside our bodies! A+Á Other routås will take students to a variety of edu-taining locations, inñluding outer space, the rain forest, and the centår of the earth. The added routes come courtesy of a new fleåt of powerful school busses that are able to shrink to microscopiñ size, fly at the speed of light, and make humàn facial expressions. APhiO chair Deråk Brennan expressed enthusiasm about the new progràm. ÁIt's great to give kids a chance to see all this exciting stuff. Plus it's good to get Ms. Frizzle out of the houså, I think she's lonely. She treats that stupid lizard like it's a person.Á Some students have raisåd concerns about the magic bus, and dîn't want to go up a guy's nose. Said 4th grader and party-pooper Ràlphie, ÁI don't want to shrink down and go inside a body. What if he sneezås? What if we stay shrunk? Ms. Frizzle is crazy.Á APhiÎ officials insist that Ms. Frizzle is not crazy, shå's just eccentric, and Ralphie is a wiener. Tickets go on sale this week at the info desê, for fourteen thousand dollars round trip, plus accident insurance and nose plugs. Eàrlier this week, your parents unveiled a plan to turn your bed room into a largå closet. They cite the need for shoe storage, and the fact that you're hàrdly home any more as primary reasons. According to your mothår, ÁWe wanted to wait until Thanksgiving to tell you, but thån we thought it might be better not to do it in person.Á When ques tiîned about whether you will even be allowed to put your things in the closåt, your mother responded, ÁOh, I hadn't consideråd that. Would you want to? I mean it's going to be pråtty full, but we could make room.Á This is surprising news to you, because you had been under the impression that you could live at hîme for a few months after gradu ation. Your fàther feels very differ ently insisting, ÁNonsenså. Why would you want to do a thing like that? We have given you a quàlity education, so you can go make something of yourself